What's on my mind

It has been quite awhile since I have posted on here. I wanted to update this for anyone who is interested in reading it.

We are moving to Memphis on May 29th, 3 days from now. Jerry will be in Minnesota on May 28th, via plane. He has secured a residence for us on the outskirts of Memphis, near Germantown. It is a ranch style single family home with 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. It is smaller than what we had here but will do fine for the 2 of us. We are truly downsizing after 5 years of living quite spread out in this house in MN.
We have our home up for sale here but no one has put a bid in. The house is worth less than what we owe on it. The only people interested in buying our house is a couple who lives in this area. The problem is, they would have to sell their home first in order to buy ours. It hasn't happened. We will have to turn the house over to the bank. This is not something we wanted to do, but we just can't keep going on the way we have been. We have tried everything we can think of but end up having to leave it this way.
I have been laid off since the end of October, 2008. The job market in this part of the world is not good. I am hoping to find something part time in Memphis as well as keep working on my reading business. I have done quite well overall with that. Hope to increase my clientelle and do the business exclusively.
I am sad to once again have to move away from the girls and grandchildren. It makes me very sad. At this point, we don't have any other options, short of losing everything we own. So, we must live in another state again until we can figure out what the next move will be.
Shawnne

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It has been a month since I have written anything here. A lot has changed and our lives are also about to change.
At the end of May we are moving to Memphis. Jerry has been working there nearly 2 years. This back and forth for him, as well as maintaining 2 separate residences, has gotten to be too much financially as well as emotionally. It has taken it's toll on both of us. We have our house up for sale. We have found a place to rent on the outskirts of Memphis. It is in a farm-like area with lots of land surrounding us so it won't be the urban cultural shock for me. I love the woods and I love our home here in Minnesota. We simply can't afford to keep this house anymore and I don't want to be separated from my husband anymore. Yes, my kids are not happy with me, but they do understand why we have to move. I'll try to come home and visit as much as possible.

Moving was about the last thing I wanted to do again at this stage in my life but it seems the Economy and other circumstances overrule what we want to do. I am simply looking forward to having a normal life again with my husband.

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I just want to add here that comments are welcome by any family members.
Some people are doing better than others in this Economy. Some of you are very well off financially. We were doing pretty well until Jerry got laid off from AT&T in 2005. Since then, we have had to go through all of our savings and resources to make it, including pay our bills on time. We HAVE tried very hard. We have both fought off depression. I lost my son a year and a half ago; that has been extremely painful to deal with.
I am not saying other people do not have issues cause everyone does. I just want to ask those of you who would judge us to have a heart and try to understand. We all have our faults and we all make mistakes. No one is perfect.
Thanks again for listening and understanding. We will all come out on top when this is finished.

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I need to post something here. Some people don't seem to understand what we are going through and why we are making the decisions we need to make.

First of all, Jerry has been working in Memphis TN since June of 2007. He has come home every 3 months, more or less, and tried to live all of his "life" in a short time. I have been here on my own, trying to maintain the home and yard. After 20 months + of this, we have decided to put our house up for sale and move me to TN, so we can be together again. I don't want to move again or leave my girls and grandchildren. This is a hard choice but yet, it is what we have to do. I have been laid off from Larson Boats for nearly 5 months now. There is very little employment out there. I have tried desperately to find something which pays more than $9 an hour or is more than temporary work. I have been doing tarot readings online which has helped some.

After much pain, we have put our house on the market. It may not sell but we have to try. We have to move on. I can visit my children and grandchildren but I need a life together with my husband again. Memphis is not our ideal place to be but that is where Jerry has a good job. I hope to find something there as well.

I just want to make a plea to all of you who judge our choice as being wrong or immature to understand we have tried and this has been excrutiatingly painful for both of us. It has caused Jerry to be very depressed at times and me to feel very lonely. How long is one supposed to live apart from one's spouse before they crack?

Thank you for reading this and understanding.

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